What my summer looks like

By Rusty

So summer has begun, and once again I find myself with the opportunity to spend it in the place I love, Texas. Some people wonder why I love Texas so much, and why I always want to go there. I can sum it up very simply, the people. There is something so inviting about the people in Texas, that I can only suggest a visit for explanation.

I find myself at a crossroads in life again, and it seems to have been pressing me for a lot longer than I have noticed. It has been compounded with my current living situation, which to say the least is down right weird. I say weird because my roommate and his socially inept son, have been silently causing so much anguish in my life that I have secluded myself in my room, if I am home at all. And the ironic thing about this is that even though I can list several dozen reasons why they are the worst roommates I have ever lived with (and if I count, there have been at least 26,) they are quietly conspiring to preform a Coup d’état as soon as I leave for the summer. They are silently trying to move out, and I won’t be here to stop them. For some reason I get the feeling that they feel I am the “bad” roommate, when although I can’t fill their shoes and see myself, I can not for the life of me see anything I have done to deserve it. I guess it comes down to their selfishness that has blinded them to the fact that I am an awesome roommate. I pay my bills, I help them with their varied problems, I never eat their food (even though they eat mine,) I stay out of their way when missionaries from the Mormon church invade my home weekly, and I give advice to a massively awkward, socially retarded, chronic masturbating, pathological lying thirteen year old. I would say I have been more than awesome when it comes to being a good proactive roommate.

In my apartments, everyone knows and loves me. Why? Because I am a social creature who actively seeks human contact, and hates being alone. What do my roommates do? They destroy my couch laying all over it, watch TV constantly, and I have seen exactly 1 girl come over on his account. In fact his ex-girlfriend warned me when he moved in that they were dirty, dirty, people, but I had no idea how incredibly dirty and nasty 2 people with almost reasonable intelligence could be. It’s sad really that nobody in their lives has ever taught them the simplest things in hygiene and cleanliness. I can’t imagine them living on their own. Their house will be a constant disaster.

Oh my god! And the smell!! Everybody has a smell. When you visit someone’s house, you can smell their odor. Mostly this is not a big deal and most people have a decent odor that is not offensive. But my roommates smell is simply the grossest smell I have ever smelled. It’s like if you took dirty socks, wrapped them in a shit covered curry fish sandwich, and lit it on fire. How they don’t smell it and throw up, I will never know.

So, my summer is not starting off too well you see, but soon I will be out of here. If they do decide to leave on me, I will be forced to make some real important decisions. I may have to leave Oregon where my son lives and I don’t really want to do that. I would miss him more than anything, and it may add a layer of stress that I don’t really need in my life right now.

I think I am just going to focus on making serious money this summer and getting laid as much as possible. It has been 2 months, 3 days, and 16 hours since my last romp and it’s an embarrassing fact to admit. I guess it’s mostly due to the fact I have been working so much and not thinking about myself as often. Summer 2010 will change everything.